She is the strongest humane I have ever know

STRONG LADIES IN MY LIFE

Kuvateksti

ME MYSELFS AND I

a multi faceted woman

I'M THE BEST VERSION OF ME RIGHT NOW

I SEE ME THIS WAY

AND YOU SEE ME THIS WAY

TASMANIA

PREGNANT WITH ROBIN 7 MONTHS

DAUGHTER BECOMES MY TEACHER

CHRISTMAS 2016 FINLAND

PAULI'S 1ST HAIRCUT ON HIS 2ND BIRTHDAY

CORNWELL ENGLAND

ON A FREIGHTER FROM FINLAND TO ENGLAND

PORVOO WITH LOVER

SCOTLAND

In Moscow at the Kenyan Embassy Being Honoured as little Mototo's Godmother

LIVING IN FRANCE

MY SON'S BAPTISM, NEWPORT BEACH, CALIFORNIA 1964

1967 brother in laws wedding in riverside california

kauko's funeral

MOODS, DREAMS, FEARS, HOPES AND LOVE

A grain of truth is worth only as much as the ground it is sowed in. I have a wonderful wild garden.




SILLY THOUGHTS AND WRITINGS BY ME

IN NO SPECIAL ORDER, IT'S LIKE MY BRAIN, IT WANDERS

WORK IN PROGRESS

NOT ALL ARE SILLY, SOME ARE WISE AND OTHERS WITTY

TRUTH IS STRANGER THAN FICTION


As I go through life I am absolutely incensed by certain behaviors and objects that seem utterly useless to me.

TONI





just was thinking..how fortunate i am to be who i have been shaped into.
 i am old and round, broken and have many knots and wounds,
 i have pieces missing, but without all that has happened to me,
would i be as compassionate and loving towards nature and the human race? 
I don't know.
Hobo's Walkabout

I look out my door and see the bridge over the molt, the cold snow smothering the ground around it, the water frozen underneath, I have handrails to help me cross so I don't slip and fall, my car only 50 meters away, not ridden for some weeks, covered in snow, but a large broom will sweep off the top and a horse hair brush it's sides. The engine can be made warm from the house, it is plugged in from the house and a flicker of the wrist and my finger will push the on button. I need only a small bag to travel, as there are items I need for hygiene if I am to travel alone. There is no reason I can't leave, I have a great safe car, money to tide me over, I'm not afraid of anything, I love being alone, but something,some unknown force is keeping me from putting my foot over the threshold. It's not that I can't leave the house and handle daily matters, or trips to the big city 50 kilometers away, it is something deeper. In a way I know what it is, it's called d.i.s.h and it is causing me some unknown horrors of pain. It also is getting to the point where I am so stiff that I can't dress myself and have to have my husband put my socks and undies on me, and if I want to wear proper winter boots he has to tie the shoestrings. So the truth is out, I am a failing, falling apart woman. They couldn't and can't break my mind, but my body is just a machine with rust in it's joints. I wonder if I should chance it and go, I know I have the love and support from my husband, if I call he will come. It's wonderful to have such love and to know I am loved.

I HAVE ALWAYS BEEN A FREE SPIRIT, NOW I WON'T BE FREE UNTIL I AM A SPIRIT.

Penny for your thoughts...

Sometimes I feel like a little girl and sometimes I am the mature adult who sees past all the shit people throw at us.  At other times I am loving and mysterious, the intriguante with her espionage affairs.  I can't control who I might be from day to day; I am.  I have love affairs with travel and I love food that tantalizes my tongue; it is orgasmic for me.  Sometimes it's deep dark chocolate from Russia or something salty like a pretzel from Germany.  Think how bored I'd be just being a lady who follows the rules of society!

THINGS I HATE

LET ME GIVE YOU A FEW EXAMPLES

Anything that causes: Annoyance, Nuisance, or Inconvenience

for example,

Bad drivers

Being lied to

Blow drying my hair

Buying petrol

Cell phones

Censorship

Cigarette smoke

Cold feet

Deciding whats for dinner

Dirty kitchen floors

Driving behind slow people

Food poisoning

Getting lost

Going to the dentist

Having to be politically correct

Having to blow into police alcometers

Having nothing to do all day

Having to go to town

Having to shower daily

Losing jewelry

Making big life decisions alone

My mysterious and recurring stomach pain

Nightmares

Not being able to sleep when I need to

Packing boxes to send to Brazil

People who deface historic or artistic treasures 

Pushy born-again Christians

Radios in waiting rooms

Red lights and stop signs

Sleet and ice on roads

Speed cameras

Speed limits

Speed bumps

Slipping, tripping, falling, or anything like it

Sore muscles

That my back hurts/aches, especially when doing dishes

Throwing up

Ticking clocks when I'm trying to sleep

Traffic stops

TV left on when you visit people

 Vitamins

 Waiting in line

 Waking up early

 

Woman... I am her.
Woman. Sister. Mother. Lover. Child. Friend. Person. Human being.
I am a human being.
Being loved, being taught, being faught... for and against, being born, being torn between...

When I am a woman do I cease to be a human,
when I am a lesbian do I cease to be a woman,
when I am a mother do I  cease to be a child,
when I am quiet do I cease to have a purpose,
when I am loud do I cease to be respected,
when I am an  artist do I cease to be a thinker,
when I am strong do I cease to be sensitive,
when I am weak do I cease to be an individual,
when  I am sexual do I cease to be pure,
when I am silly do I cease to  be aware?

Do you stare?
Do you care?
Have you asked me not to  flaunt it...
Have you called me faggot...
Does my sense of security demolish yours?

I am a woman.
My body will bear, my hips  will strain, my skin will stretch, my breasts will feed.
I will  give, I will give, I will give to you, I will live with you and  along side you.
I will be obvious.
I will be a revolution and evolution... look for a solution.

I am a woman and beautiful,
I love women, so do you--curves, sweet smells, little  laughter, you read the chapter on women and talk nice... buy some flowers...
I am a woman, I am large and I am hearing this- I am here.
Why do I fear this? A society of petite frames? Little dames?
I am not demure, I am not pure... Purity was taken, stolen-- shaken from me.
Why do I fear? I ask you to hear this and to see me... a woman, I can hold my own.
 I can hold my face to  the sun, my heart in my chest, my breast to my babies' sucking lips. I can sway my hips.

I love women. I can hold my lovers'  hand in the face of a man on the street shouting at me, through me, past our love, past our love. Shouting at my gender, her  gender... because we are woman
We threaten him? His power? His penis?
What makes the words form in his mouth? What curls his  tongue around this hatred?
I am her... woman, dyke, artist. I can create, I can wait, masturbate, play it straight, talk of fate,  talk of hate and war, politics, religion...
I can preach, I can  teach, I can reach into my past and pull through it.
I am woman, I am her. I am you.

       WROTE THE ABOVE  WHEN THINKING OF THE PATHS OF MY DAUGHTER  AND MY LIFE.

                                   DIFFERENT PATHS AND YET THEY CONVERGE.


Funny Thoughts and Things I have Done

ridden in a side car of a motorcycle

climbed big bear mountain in california with larry and bob seeger


been to the British embassy in Helsinki and met prince philip

been to the french embassy in America to celebrate fête nationale

been to Frank Sinatras house in California where Elle Fitxgeralnd came in with a mink coat and she was naked under it

crossed the Atlantic ocean in a real ocean liner, the Norwegian-American line

hard hat dived

scuba dived from a professional FISHERMANS BOAT AND WORKED COLLECTING ABALOBE AT 5 DOLLARS PER POUND

Had a near tragic end when coming to shore on a dingy at Catalina Island, and The large yacht which was too close to shoreand not looking out, hit the dingy, i was thrown out of the dingy and thrust under the boat as it drove over me and i followed the keel and luckly for me it was so laarge that i passed between the propellars, with just a slight loss of hair chopped off

Hit by lighting in Finland

in 1962 in Las Vegas after hving a winning streak at the crap tables, i hought just one more roll and it's big time, lost it all, atthattime the price of a new Porsche

been to the highland games in Scotland

met president kekkonen at his sauna

met mrs. rute, the wife of the late president ruti, and we talked and she told me how it was so hard for her during the crisis times of their life.

when pregnant with Pauli i met prince philip at the glider club in lasing, england and he held the wing tip of the glider i was going up in,,and again a couple weeks later atthe ball I attended with donald clayton snodgrass  who played a special part in mt pregnancy and birth to Pauli


random thoughts

*stuff is important, if you don't have a house, you wouldn't have so much stuff.

*good is good forever.

*baised veiws

*just about truth

*it mustn't be this long before we see each other again. really, i tell you, me more than you but i've got a longer past than a future -and i want to keep for the future the friends i've made all my life. Do you know what i mean by that?

*you can tell a lot of things but you can't lie about the truth...the intriguante

*i have a strange body, headless, legless, armless, no body functions, no tits, no brain, just rays of spiritual lights.

What am I?

the lady who packs boxes for her daughter in Brazil after trying to make up a 10 kilo box.

*walking without screaming

*know what you know what you feel

*movies are memories past dreams are the future still unknown at this moment, life

*wandering feet

*don't give a crap

*thoughts about MP...i love spending time with you and when you smile at me. soon i'll grow bigger and play on the floor with you like you do with my brother miguel

when one is young he wants but doesn't know how one is old he knows everything but he cannot move anymore - so i'm not yet there, i am in a good time and there will come one day when i cannot conduct not yet!




Looking outside my window everyday i wish that i were faraway

oh i  want to go out, it's such a lovely day

i see the bird and hedge hogs and squilles running up and down,

oh to sit on the ground.

but my body is holding me inside

The lack of movement and the pain,

I wish it would all go away

look at the name