18 Common Phrases to Avoid in Conversation

Some things should never be said--like these phrases. Here, what to say instead.


What Not to Say About Someone's Appearance

Don't say: "You look tired."
Why: It implies she doesn't look good.
Instead say: "Is everything OK?" We often blurt the "tired" comment when we get the sense that the other person feels out of sorts. So just ask.

Don't say: "Wow, you've lost a ton of weight!"
Why: To a newly trim person, it might give the impression that she used to look unattractive.
Instead say: "You look fantastic." And leave it at that. If you're curious about how she got so svelte, add, "What's your secret?"

Don't say: "You look good for your age."
Why: Anything with a caveat like this is rude. It's saying, "You look great--compared with other old people. It's amazing you have all your own teeth."
Instead say: "You look great."

Don't say: "I could never wear that."
Why: It can be misunderstood as a criticism. ("I could never wear that because it's so ugly.")
Instead say: "You look so good in skinny jeans." If you slip, say something like "I could never wear that…because I wasn't blessed with your long legs."



What Not to Say in the Workplace

Don't say: "That's not my job."
Why: If your superior asks you to do something, it is your job.
Instead say: "I'm not sure that should be my priority right now." Then have a conversation with your boss about your responsibilities.

Don't say: "This might sound stupid, but…"
Why: Never undermine your ideas by prefacing your remarks with wishy-washy language.
Instead say: What's on your mind. It reinforces your credibility to present your ideas with confidence.

Don't say: "I don't have time to talk to you."
Why: It's plain rude, in person or on the phone.
Instead say: "I'm just finishing something up right now. Can I come by when I'm done?" Graciously explain why you can't talk now, and suggest catching up at an appointed time later. Let phone calls go to voice mail until you can give callers your undivided attention.



What Not to Say During a Job Interview
Don't say: "My current boss is horrendous."
Why: It's unprofessional. Your interviewer might wonder when you'd start bad-mouthing her. For all you know, she and your current boss are old pals.
Instead say: "I'm ready for a new challenge" or a similarly positive remark.

Don't say: "Do you think I'd fit in here?"
Why: You're the interviewee, not the interviewer.
Instead say: "What do you enjoy about working here?" By all means ask questions, but prepare ones that demonstrate your genuine interest in the company.

Don't say: "What are the hours like?" or "What's the vacation policy?"
Why: You want to be seen as someone who focuses on getting the job done.
Instead say: "What's the day-to-day like here?" Then, if you've really jumped through every hoop and time off still hasn't been mentioned, say, "Can you tell me about the compensation and benefits package?"




What Not to Say About Pregnancy and Babies
Don't say: "Are you pregnant?"
Why: You ask, she's not, and you feel totally embarrassed for essentially pointing out that she's overweight.
Instead say: "Hello" or "Great to see you" or "You look great." Anything besides "Are you pregnant?" or "What's the due date?" will do. Save yourself the humiliation and never ask.

Don't say: "Do you plan on breast-feeding?"
Why: The issue can be controversial, and she may not want to discuss her decision publicly.
Instead say: Nothing. Unless you're very close, don't ask. If you slip, make up for the blunder by adding, "And do you feel comfortable telling me?"

Don't say: "Were your twins natural?" or "It must have been hard for your child's birth parent to give him up."
Why: You're suggesting that natural conception is better than in vitro fertilization (IVF) or adoption.
Instead say: To a parent of multiples, try a light "Wow, you have your hands full!" To an adoptive parent, say the same stuff you would to any other parent: "She's adorable!" or "How old is he?"


What Not to Say to a Single (or Newly Single) Person
Don't say: "You were too good for him."
Why: You are basically saying she has bad taste. And you'll be embarrassed if they ever patch it up.
Instead say: "His loss!" It gets the same point across without disparaging her judgment.

Don't say: "I'm glad you got rid of him. I never liked him anyway."
Why: She'll wonder about your fake adoration for him while they were together.
Instead say: "I'm confident you'll find someone who will give you exactly what you want." It focuses on what's to come, not on the dud you're glad she's done with.

Don't say: "How could someone as perfect as you still be single?"
Why: A statement like this comes off as a backhanded compliment. What she hears is "What's wrong with you?"
Instead say: "Seeing anyone?" If she's tight-lipped about her love life, move on to other topics.



What Not to Say During a Fight with Your Beloved
Don't say: "You always" or "You never" or "You're a [slob, jerk]" or "You're wrong."
Why: Speaking in absolutes like "you always" and "you're wrong" is playing the blame game, and resorting to name calling makes your partner feel helpless, which puts him on the defensive and makes a bad fight worse.
Instead say: "I'm upset that you left the dishes in the sink again. What can we do so that this stops happening?" Starting with the pronoun I puts the focus on how you feel, not why he's in the doghouse, and it will make him more receptive to fixing the problem.

Don't say: "If you really loved me, you would..."
Why: The more you treat your partner as if he'll never satisfy you, the less satisfied you'll be. Controlling your partner by imploring him to do something isn't a good way to build intimacy.
Instead say: "I feel taken for granted when you don't help around the house. I would feel better if we could…" The best way to keep a productive fight from becoming a dirty one is to be clear about why you're upset and then offer a solution.










 "You know, opposites attract.
You can't have perfection … perfection is imperfection!
When you love each other,
you have to accept each other's flaws as well as gifts."

This is a story of never ending love, faithful, friendly, honest and givers of hope.

Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."

RECYCLED WIT AND WISDOM

A bear teaches us that if the heart is true, it doesn't matter much if an ear drops off."

A man is a fool if he drinks before he reaches the age of 50, and a fool if he doesn't afterward. Frank Lloyd Wright

A thought occurred to me and I decided to make a note of it. I found a piece of paper and a pen. I used the pen to write the note on the piece of paper.


Beauty is truth, truth beauty ,?that is all. Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know.

MUD


BRING A WHEELBARROW FULL OF THERE


THIS IS SOMETHING I SAID TO DAD WHEN I SHOULD HAVE SAID, BRING A WHEELBARROW FULL OF DIRT FROM ELIZABETH'S FRONT YARD DIRT PILE, yet he understood what I wanted.

Central Intrigue Agency



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"Dreaming permits each and everyone of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives." --William Dement



"functional necrophilia"

frog orgy
There is nothing beneficial to a female about being killed in a orgy.

In the deadpan style of academics, Izzo writes that "such occurrences are obviously detrimental to females". You don't say.

There might even be some benefits for the female. She too gets a post-mortem chance of passing her genes to future frogs despite the unfortunate side effect of, her, being drowned by a ball of violent males. Silver lining!

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company. Mark Twain



Have you every been chased by a bee, or have you ever been stung by one? Tell me your story and I will print it here.

Hold your ground!

"How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live." -- Henry David Thoreau

I am trying to learn how to use this page but it's all in finnish and it takes trail and error so it's just full of gobbileegook

I fear that future generations will judge us harshly for our failure to place proper value on wildness, diversity, open space, spirit, solitude and other treasures of the natural world still available to us today. May they at least know that some of us tried



I find television very educating.
Every time somebody turns on the set,
I go into the other room and read a book.

Groucho Marx


Here at the Hellas the outhouse has a lovely library on the walls and art as well!








"I find the great thing in this world is not so much where we stand,
as in what direction we are moving:
To reach the port of heaven, we must sail sometimes with the wind and sometimes against it,
but we must sail, and not drift, nor lie at anchor"

Oliver Wendell Holmes

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses. Stephen King




I have an everyday religion that works for me.
Love yourself first, and everything else falls into line.

Lucille Ball

When I hum while I cook, watch out, a new dish
will be revealed and never to be made again.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love." - Mother Teresa



I hope you find what you are looking for. When you are starting to get old and beginning to fall apart like me, it will be something you can look back on, and cherish. You'll be better for it, both refueled and strengthened!

There is no way or reason  to tell the younger generation, for first of all they won't listen or care, and secondly they have their own lives and memories to make.

I might die young or I might die old, but I will never die of boredom.


I was picking out small rocks from the dirt and he went and got the pitchfork and started to do what I was doing but he also let in all the crab grass, I wanted just rocks, I asked him to stop because I was doing it and he said something and I said something and it ended up with me saying, you don't need a wife, and he replied,
I like living with a bull shiter.

that hurt me and now I am crying.....

dad 12:12 22 may 13







if you are depressed, you are living in the past.

if you are anxious, you are living in the future.

if you are at peace, you are living in the present

lao tzu

If someone shows you their true colors, don't try to repaint them.

If you come to a fork in the road, take it. Yogi Berra

If you don't like the road you're walking, start paving another one. Dolly Parton






"illmail"

It's pretty well known that the CIA has been installing friendly dictators around the world for years. Rob Walto

In my opinion the best thing you can you do is find a person who loves you for exactly what you are. Good mood, bad mood, ugly, pretty, handsome, what have you, the right person will still think the sun shines out of your ass. That's the kind of person that's worth sticking with.

Isolation

is the ideal human condition

for introspection.

It had finally happened, the British have conquered America and cut down and burned all Bushes and Weeds that plagued the nation. To the surprise of everyone, Prince, better known as Phillip took it upon himself to marry a Queen but who would have known that this Queen, under her hat and tailored clothes was really..........well you will have to see the movie to know the truth. The white house now became gay and happy. This is a must see, under the covers of your bed and in darkness.




It's pretty well known that the CIA has been installing friendly dictators around the world for years.

 Rob Walto

I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done. Lucille Ball







I'M EFFICIENT!
(AND A PISCES)

SO

I'M A FISH-ENT

It's true, some of those childhood moments seem to last a lifetime and come up when you least expect them.

Life is not so much what you accomplish as what you overcome.

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Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
You really have to love yourself to get anything done in this world.

Lucille Ball

Lovers are to be remembered in warmth and moments of great happiness.







"Marriage should be between a spouse and a spouse,
not a gender and a gender."

 Hendrik Hertzberg
My three nevers.

never ask a person where they're from (intrusive)
never correct other people's english (insulting regardless of intent)
never ask what they do for a living (offensive).

Unless the person volunteers to offer any of the above,
I stick to polite conversation, "beautiful weather for
this time of the year, isn't it?"



And if it's someone who is asking in a Xenophobic
or otherwise hostile manner, my simple answer is
"I'm not from around here" and quietly leave.

OWL

Wisdom, Truth, Patience,

Foresight & Knowledge,

& a protector against harm.





Perhaps the religious beliefs and practices of this world are best summed up by the words recorded by one of Jesus Christ's first disciples, the apostle John. Under inspiration he wrote,

"So the great dragon was cast out, that serpent of old, called the Devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was cast to the earth, and his angels were cast out with him"

 (Revelation 12:9, emphasis added).

Kuvateksti




"Science may have found a cure for most evils,
but it has found no remedy for the worst of them all:
the apathy of human beings."

Helen Keller








Several times, when I was a teenager and in my early twenties,

I knowingly parachuted myself into environments

where I was isolated for months,

at least culturally and linguistically.


I didn't communicate with home,
I entirely cut myself off, I was alone and adrift,
there was no audience.

My only understandable companions were Penguin paperbacks,

and the only thing I ever missed was a bar of good chocolate.




The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.

Stop the rhetoric that a woman is crazy or difficult. If a man says to you that a woman is crazy or difficult, ask him, What bad thing did you do to her?










superhuman controlling power

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed (and hence clamorous to be led to safety) by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, all of them imaginary. H. L. Mencken

There are only two mistakes one can make along the road to truth; not going all the way, and not starting. Buddha








"There is no need for temples, no need for complicated philosophy.
Our own brain, our own heart is our temple; the philosophy is kindness."

Dalai Lama





There is no trouble
so great or grave
that cannot be much diminished
by a nice cup of tea.
~ Bernard-Paul Heroux

To see what is in front of one's nose needs a constant struggle. - George Orwell

We know what happens to people who stay in the middle of the road. They get run over. Ambrose Bierce








What is comedy?

Tragedy plus Time. from the movie

Crime and Misdemeanors

 Woody Allen






"what needs to know, knows"

-toni

"When you loved someone and had to let them go, there will always be that small part of yourself that whispers, "What was it that you wanted and why didn't you fight for it?" Shannon L. Alder










Women are like tea bags.
They do not know how strong they are until they get into hot water.
~ Eleanor Roosevelt

You can close your eyes to reality, but not to memories. ------Stanislov J.Lee