The beauty of a woman
Is in her eyes
In the swell of her breasts
And the curve of her thighs
The beauty of a woman
Cannot be measured
It can only be observed
And if you are wise treasured
The beauty of a woman
Is her mind and soul
And heed my word
They are a thing to behold
The beauty of a woman
Is something to kill
for But do not be foolish
As it is also something to live for
The beauty of a woman
Is in her wisdom
Which comes at a price
And sometimes that cost is freedom
The beauty of a woman
Is like the mystery of time
And for brief moments
This enigma has been mine

       The Spider and the Fly    
  Author:   Mary Howitt (1799-1888)

Will you walk into my parlour?" said the Spider to the Fly,
'Tis the prettiest little parlour that ever you did spy;
The way into my parlour is up a winding stair,
And I've a many curious things to shew when you are there."
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "to ask me is in vain,
For who goes up your winding stair can ne'er come down again."

"I'm sure you must be weary, dear, with soaring up so high;
Will you rest upon my little bed?" said the Spider to the Fly.
"There are pretty curtains drawn around; the sheets are fine and thin,
And if you like to rest awhile, I'll snugly tuck you in!"
Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "for I've often heard it said,
They never, never wake again, who sleep upon your bed!"

Said the cunning Spider to the Fly, " Dear friend what can I do,
To prove the warm affection I 've always felt for you?
I have within my pantry, good store of all that's nice;
I'm sure you're very welcome -- will you please to take a slice?"
"Oh no, no," said the little Fly, "kind Sir, that cannot be,
I've heard what's in your pantry, and I do not wish to see!"

"Sweet creature!" said the Spider, "you're witty and you're wise,
How handsome are your gauzy wings, how brilliant are your eyes!
I've a little looking-glass upon my parlour shelf,
If you'll step in one moment, dear, you shall behold yourself."
"I thank you, gentle sir," she said, "for what you 're pleased to say,
And bidding you good morning now, I'll call another day."

The Spider turned him round about, and went into his den,
For well he knew the silly Fly would soon come back again:
So he wove a subtle web, in a little corner sly,
And set his table ready, to dine upon the Fly.
Then he came out to his door again, and merrily did sing,
"Come hither, hither, pretty Fly, with the pearl and silver wing;
Your robes are green and purple -- there's a crest upon your head;
Your eyes are like the diamond bright, but mine are dull as lead!"

Alas, alas! how very soon this silly little Fly,
Hearing his wily, flattering words, came slowly flitting by;
With buzzing wings she hung aloft, then near and nearer drew,
Thinking only of her brilliant eyes, and green and purple hue --
Thinking only of her crested head -- poor foolish thing! At last,
Up jumped the cunning Spider, and fiercely held her fast.
He dragged her up his winding stair, into his dismal den,
Within his little parlour -- but she ne'er came out again!

And now dear little children, who may this story read,
To idle, silly flattering words, I pray you ne'er give heed:
Unto an evil counsellor, close heart and ear and eye,
And take a lesson from this tale, of the Spider and the Fly.

          First publication date: 1829

So, we'll go no more a roving
   So late into the night,
Though the heart be still as loving,
   And the moon be still as bright.

For the sword outwears its sheath,
   And the soul wears out the breast,
And the heart must pause to breathe,
   And love itself have rest.

Though the night was made for loving,
   And the day returns too soon,
Yet we'll go no more a roving
   By the light of the moon.

The Battle Hymn of the Ranapublic
by John Boardman

Mine ears have heard the croaking of the Giant Barded Frogs.
They are swimming through the marshes, they are leaping over logs.
They are eagerly devouring people, vampire bats, and dogs,
As they go hopping on!

Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
As they go hopping on!

Their hides are leather shields on which a sword has never stung.
They have claws upon the forefeet, they have barbs upon the toungue
With which they torture women who are sensitive and young
As they go hopping on!

Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
As they go hopping on!

They have armor-plated eyeballs and their teeth are made of brass,
Their breath corrodes titanium, their voices shatter glass,
They shoot snake venom from their jaws and napalm out their ass,
As they go hopping on!

Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
As they go hopping on!

They'll jump a seven-meter fence, they'll float like a balloon.
They'll swim like Flipper's brothers and they're fast as a typhoon.
In fact, they say that Armstrong found a couple on the Moon,
As they go hopping on!

Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
Glory, glory, ribbit ribbit!
As they go hopping on!

Life Explained

             On the first day God created the cow.  God said, "You must go
               to the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the
                sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer. I will
                             give you a life span of sixty years."

              The cow said, "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live
                 for sixty years. Let me have twenty and I'll give back the
                                other forty." And God agreed.

              On the second day God created the dog. God said, "Sit all day
             by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or
                 walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years." 

             The dog said, "That's too long to be barking. Give me ten years
                   and I'll give you back the other ten."  So God agreed.

             On the third day God created the monkey. God said, "Entertain
                people, do monkey tricks, make them laugh. I'll give you a
                                    twenty-year life span."

            The monkey said, "How boring, monkey tricks for twenty years?
                I don't think so. Dog gave you back ten, so that's what I'll
                           do too, okay?" And God agreed again.

              On the forth day God created man. God said, "Eat, sleep, play,
               have sex, enjoy. Do nothing, just enjoy, enjoy. I'll give you
                                        twenty years."

            Man said, "What? Only twenty years! No way, man. Tell you what,
              I'll take my twenty, and the forty the cow gave back, and the
              ten the dog gave back and the ten the monkey gave back, that
                                    makes eighty, okay?"

                           "Okay," said God, "You've got a deal."

              So that is why the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, have
               sex, enjoy, and do nothing; for the next forty years we slave
                in the sun to support our family; for the next ten years we
               do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren; and for the
              last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

                 Life has now been explained.